Why I’m even writing about this, I don’t know.
I guess because I need to get it out of my system.
I went to bed last night, filled with anxiety about my job, my film, finances and the future of my and my animals happiness. I’m sure this had a lot to do with the dream.
It took place at night, in the middle of a small town in the middle of nowhere (probably because I watched an episode of True Blood last night). I was at a small train station, and Milhouse was with me. Him and I were going to travel somewhere, but I have no idea where. Already I was stressed because I had Milhouse in a small crate cage, and he wasn’t liking it at all. He was very scared and not sure where I was taking him.
I stood in line at the train counter and asked if I could get a train car for just Milhouse and I, because if I were to sit in coach with him he’d be meowing his head off and disturbing others. If I had my own little compartment, I could let Milhouse out, and he could walk around, sniff things, and eventually, hopefully fall asleep.
Apparently I was given the best seat they had for this kind of situation, which was seat 6A, a tiny seat near a closet that I could adjoin to me. I stood in line to pay for it, and it came to $1800. I almost choked and paid it, just miserable.
Suddenly I remembered there was something I absolutely HAD to bring with me. I put millhouse down in the cage, looked at him and told him I would be back shortly. He watched me leave, meowing and all alone, surrounded by strange people and a busy environment. I ran out of the station, down the street, down the highway and was running through the streets of downtown for some reason. I was scared and wanting to get back to my Milhouse. I went into a building, grabbed whatever it was I needed (I can’t even remember) and then I ran all the way back to the station, hoping I didn’t miss the train.
I got back to the station, seeing the train pulling out and starting to go down the track.
I missed the train.
As it passed me, I saw a train car full of animals in cages stacked on top of each other. Milhouse was one of them.
I yelled and screamed for the train car to stop. I started running after it and screaming Milhouse’s name. Milhouse started meowing, along with the other animals barking and whining above him. I couldn’t find anyone to stop the train and there was no one to help me. I continued to run after it, hearing Milhouse meow for me. I stopped running, to watch the train totally disappear into the dark, and I had no idea where it was going. Milhouse was gone, and I had no clue what would happen to him anymore.
It was the worst dream I’ve ever had about my animals. Just writing it, makes me tear up. I have a passion for my little boy Millie. He and I are connected. If he were to disappear, I do not know how I could go on living. Not knowing how he was, not knowing if he was alone, hungry, taken away? Scared? Looking for me? And never finding me?
I can’t live like that.
When I awoke, I was in the worst fear. I looked down and saw Milhouse sleeping near my feet. I whispered his name and he got up, walked over to my pillow and curled up into a ball on the pillow. I whispered his name again and began to pet his soft coat of fur.
And Milhouse, being the cranky ball of fire he is, MARRWED harshly at me and his little paw bounced off my hand, as if saying “Awww come on, I’m sleeping!!"
No wonder little boys can't stand their moms giving them smooches at night.
